Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Why the fuck is Kelly Osbourne doing E! "Fashion Police"?


The scene of the crime.

I had been treating myself to some Frosted Flakes and lounging on the couch in my den just a few moments ago. I had been flipping through the channels, rolling my eyes at the lackluster mix of news and reality television shows, when I came across lovely, trendy, Kelly Osbourne's delightful face on the E! channel. I pressed Info on my remote. The show was "Fashion Police".

Since I recently formed a deep appreciation for Ms. Osbourne, I continued watching. It was a review (or rather, a massacre) of celebrities' looks from the primetime Emmys, which had occured last Sunday. Four people, three women (Ms. Osbourne, Giuliana Rancic, and Joan Rivers) and a man (George Kotsiopoulous), sat in almost miniature and uncomfortable-looking leather chairs, behind a coffee table with an illustrious bouquet upon it, discussing the gowns and tuxes of the rich and famous.

To continue on with my experience, I must inform you of my "Fashion Police" and related programs/media/concept in general opinion. I am strongly opposed to it. It goes against so many of my morals, and disagrees with so many of the expressions I repeat to myself every day; said expression (one of them) being this:

Wear what you want to wear.

I can't repeat it enough. Shows like these only prevent individuals from being confident and happy with their personal style. They believe they should wear things like what these celebrities wear. They fear their own spin on fashion isn't good enough, or isn't "cool" or "stylish". It also makes them wonder that if they did leave the house taking a risk/s with their look, that they would get ridiculed, just like some of the celebrities on that show whom perhaps didn't have (god forbid), the one and only, Rachel Zoe as their stylist.

I believe these fears are silly. Not silly as in not a big deal and easily changeable, because for lots of people, it takes years to accept their desire to wear out-of-the-norm things. I mean silly as in so silly, these fears shouldn't exist. What could someone say that could actually hurt you? Would anyone really think less of you? Wear that sequined minidress to the club. Paint your nails hot pink. Finally buy those floral Doc Martens. Rejoice, my friends. What have you got to lose?

So yes, there I was, watching with fury four people shatter millions of other people's self confidence. Beautiful, lip-glossed and bow tied men and women paraded down the red carpet, stretching their lips out to reveal frighteningly bright white chicklet smiles. This was simply not enough to satisfy the "Fashion Police", and nearly everyone fell victim to a Joan Rivers-take no prisoners-criticism. The woman dissed Betty White. Who does that?

Yes, I agree the looks at this years' Emmys were unimaginitive, but such is the case with every awards show. Don't get me started on that. I'm here to pitch a little rant at Kelly Osbourne.

Back to the initial thought- why are you doing this show, Kelly? I thought our passions and views were similar, you and I. Little did I know you were just like the rest. You mix punk with lady-like accents. You make purple hair look elegant and effortless. Where did your spark go? Don't tell me that bleached-blond cheating manorexic ex-boyfriend male model (*breath*) took it with him.

I was even more saddened when I discovered this was to be a weekly occuring program, not just an annual event.

Get out, Kelly, before they take your soul, too.


Photos from weheartit, exposay, and here.

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